Sunday, September 21, 2014

Well...three years later, I realize my reaffirmation to blogging was just a fleeting thought back then...

Little would I know that 2011 would be a life-changer for me.  I lost my boyfriend Martin to a major heart attack in November of that year and a fog descended down on me that that I didn't know was there until it began to lift two years later.  There are still moments that hit, like when I'm out buying a new kitchen light to replace the one we bought together ... and I can't find the right one I know he would agree with me on, or when someone we both knew died, or something funny happens that would mean something significant to both of us...sometimes it makes me want to tell him about something that changed...and I realize he's been gone for so long that it would take me a very long time to "catch him up" on the news ... and sometimes he visits me in dreams and there is never enough time to tell him everything, but sometimes he just knows...

I had a psychic tell me that he knows I'm doing what I need to in order to survive, and that when I'm ready, he'll send me someone to love...and I think he did that just about two months ago.  He sent me Tom.  Tom who is so alike Martin, but yet so opposite -- he's everything I needed from Martin, but was not in Martin's personality to be...I truly feel like Tom was sent to me to be my companion and my new best guy friend.  He loves me and my dog and my family as crazy as they are and understands me, when my voice goes up two octaves when I can't find my socks...not because I can't find them, but because I'm stressing over something different entirely.  We have had so many of the same experiences that we have said more than once "We are the same person!"

Looking back on my older posts, I seemed depressed, down all the time, struggling.  I feel much happier, lighter and different.  I have lost 80 pounds.  I am almost done with getting my MBA.  I'm doing things that make me happy.

I think its time to get back to blogging.  I have a story to tell.  My story.